The Unbearable Lightness of Spa-ing, Part II

No, I didn’t complain, and I got into a “thing” about it with a Dutch journalist, MC, who also attended the Summit and who I was spending a few days with. The day before we’d gone to a drop-dead fabulous spa called Tirta, which I’ll talk more about another time. She told me after the massage, having been given forms on which to grade our therapists, she had given hers the lowest rating. She said the therapist was awful because she pulled her hair. (This hair connection is totally coincidental.) Worse than just giving her a lousy rating, the other therapist—mine—noticed it and pointed it out to her while we were still in the treatment room. (Note: In Asia, all massages are couples massages. If you come with another person, they will use one treatment room. But that too is another story.) MC saw her therapist grow completely deflated after seeing her rating. She was annoyed that the other therapist pointed it out while she was still there, but I think more than that she was looking for reassurance because she felt a little bad. I couldn’t give it to her.

I agree the therapist shouldn’t have looked at the ratings until we were gone. But we were there as journalists and were given, I’m sure, what the spa manager thought were the finest therapists. So I think the rating shocked them. But I was more shocked that MC was so cavalier about giving a bad rating. We had a big debate about it. MC is a tough cookie. I always thought I was a tough cookie but it turns out that on these matters compared to her my personality is like, say, Ellen DeGeneres eating cotton candy while holding a hot water bottle, sitting on Buddha's lap .

For customers, it's always hard to know when is the right time to complain. If the treatment isn't great many people feel it's easier just to get through it. Some people just get bored and start making a mental grocery list. But what about journalists who are given free treatments? What is our obligation? MC, who was sharing a treatment room with me and was situated less than three feet away, said she didn't want to talk loudly and disturb my peace. (She does have a heart, after all, just not when she's in review mode.) Do I as a journalist receiving free massages have a right to complain? An obligation? Should the journalist complain right then or there or save it for the mass printing? When is the right time for any of us to complain?