The Rise of the Mega Spas

Will we soon be calling them big-box spas alà Wal-Mart? Spas such as Bliss, Exhale and the Ruby Room, which for now is only in Chicago, all have a reach that is wide and far. I've been to them all. Remarkable works of bigness.

My attraction to spas is the spiritually rooted intimacy they provide. Since mega spas are cash cows, surely they have a more-than adequate budget earmarked to create the illusion of intimacy, like Buddhas strewn about in all shapes and sizes like party favors.

But services are all over the place in mega spas— from 'beauty bars' for make-up applications and a cut and color and ecstatic shopping boutique expeditions to gear shifting healing lounges and chakra and crystal journeys—my experience has been that the vibe is a bit spread out, too.

With a shiver I recall checking out Exhale when it first opened its Chicago location a couple of years ago. They weren't quite open yet but they gave me a tour. Yes, it was really beautiful, but the staff was running around like a bunch of coke-hoovering board of traders as the floor is about to open. (Not saying they were doing drugs; just alluding to the buzz in the air.) The manager who was showing me around stopped in his tracks to announce one of the owners was on the premises. I turned around and saw a beautifully tan, perfectly manicured and exquisitely dressed mid-forties female. All was well until I looked at her face. Her mouth was set in a deeply disturbing frozen smile. When I looked further down I realized she was in Tree Pose, foot inching higher and higher up the side of her thigh. She looked the part but didn't feel the part. I was. a bit shaken by that image. I recall I didn't want to talk to her; I probably couldn't anyway because she was busy busy.

I returned and had a pretty great Thai massage from one of Exhale's therapist. But it didn't get quiet until we were in the treatment room. Entering, I had the same shot-of-espresso buzz as the previous recent visit, which I didn't like at all, being a chameleon as I am.

Wonder how others feel? I have a friend who loves Bliss, asked if I wanted to go for a girlfriend outing. I took a pass.